You already voted for Trump

imageIt’s true. You already voted for Trump. “But the election hasn’t happened yet…” you respond. 

I’m afraid to tell you – the election is happening everyday. Every morning that you walk to work, the election is happening. Every movie that you watch, the election is happening. Every person you encounter, the election is happening. 
My husband is well versed when it comes to history, theology, government and politics. I wish sometimes he ran for president. I on the other hand don’t know a ton about bills, policy, and political parties – but I do know people. 
I am what they call an “Extreme Extrovert.” I love being around large groups of people, watching social interactions, talking to strangers, and behind admist the chaos. What I’ve learned over the last few months is that there is a discrepancy between what we say and what we do. 
Now, this isn’t a huge revelation. Don’t get me wrong. This is an age old problem since before Jesus walked the earth. We say we believe in certain things but our actions show us what we truly believe. This is why faith without works is dead. 
So, let’s get back to Trump.

Women are downright offended and upset by his “locker room” talk and rightfully so. However, this is what we elected as a society. When 80 million copies of “50 shades of Grey” are sold – we are promoting what we value. For three years I worked as a doorman (or doorwoman for my feminist friends out there) and what I would see on display at 3am makes Trump look like Mother Theresa. 

To the women that are offended by Trump – a few suggestions:

1. Stop sleeping with your best friends boyfriend 

2. Stop giggling with your friends over champagne while that hot finance guy talks about a three some 

3. Stop allowing your drunk friend to go home with that DJ that tweets about blow jobs and how many girls he’s sleeping with

Now, to be honest. I’m not a fan of either canidate but instead of threatening to de-friend Facebook friends based on who they are voting for – I am choosing to pray for our candidates and our country. 
“But Trump is arrogant and Hillary is a pathological liar.” – we scream back on Twitter. 
One of my bosses once said to me “Jessi, if you want to be successful – fake it till you make it.” Maybe our candidates are a result of doing just that and society responding in favorable outcomes. 
If my child eats candy every day and every time he did I rewarded him with $20 – wouldn’t it be unfair if I criticized him at the age of 30 for being obese? We need to stop talking about how much we hate these candidates and instead do something. It’s not the job of one leader to make a country great – it’s our job. We the people. Is poverty a problem in your neighborhood? Invite a homeless person over for dinner – I dare you! 

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  1. It is always great to see someone who uses a platform to preach something they don’t actually do. You, of all people, is one of the biggest hypocrites and so are the people you surround yourself with. Aren’t you the same person who has intentionally dressed provocatively in an effort to attract attention you seemingly don’t want? hmmm. Or how about your protege who is another one that pretends to put forth a life they don’t actually live? The one who wants to tell people how to live in NYC responsibly but actually doesn’t have a dollar in her savings account.

    You are everything that is wrong with social media – the one’s who hide behind a computer creating this complete false sense of identity and reality. If someone actually did a deeper dive and gave the full scope of who you are and what your life truly is, what a very different painting that would look like. So go on, preach but your phoniness isn’t lost on those who actually know what life looks like when the computer doesn’t serve as the makeup you hide behind. Here is a tip, be real. Be genuine. Try it. I know it is scary because you and your minions are too focused on trying to be someone else. Someone you aspire to – or better yet, the people you knock along the way for actually doing real work and being an asset to their community, their country and their friends. Your gossip train crashed, you just don’t know it yet.

    1. Hi – I’m not sure who this is because you yourself have chosen to “hide behind a computer” but I’d love to chat more with you if you’re interested – please send me a Facebook message. It seems somewhere along the road my friends and I have maybe hurt or offended you. Just so you know, I can choose to delete any comments but am letting this comment remain so that you can gain some closure. I’ve never preached something I don’t actually do and live a pretty transparent life if you ask any of my friends. I never try to be perfect and am quick to apologize and repent when I’ve done wrong. It’s likely I am the same person that dressed provocatively in my early 20s. My whole identity was based on approval from other people – it was exhausting! I love that as I’ve developed a relationship with Jesus my identity comes from Him and Him alone. I don’t know who my protege is so I can’t address that. If you followed me on snapchat you’d see how very unglamourous and non phony I truly am. Often not wearing make-up and putting my baby to sleep. I’ve tried being real and genuine – maybe you read my blog about having an abortion? Also – if we sat down for coffee for 5 mins you’d probably see how genuine I am. I’m sorry if somewhere along the line you were hurt but I’m hoping that you can forgive me if I’ve hurt you in anyway.

  2. I’ve been following your blog for quite some time now, just scrolling through on my Feedly every time there’s an update. I’ve followed through your marriage & now your pregnancy, which is all wonderful. I think you’ve offered some solid options for dining and having fun when visiting NYC, which I’ve also used when my friends and I have visited. However, I am deeply disheartened by your response to what Donald Trump has said. You are a part of a girl squad (all of whom seem to have an individual style and personality, which is truly admirable), you’re a part of a generation of women who has been objectified by the male patriarchy to the point where you just tried to justify “locker room talk” by victim blaming women. “Stop sleeping with your best friend’s boyfriend?” Really? How about, ‘your best friend’s boyfriend’ having a strong admiration for the woman he’s with and not cheating on her… and I understand that “best friend’s boyfriend” is a metaphor for many things… but by saying that we giggle and fawn over these sorts of behaviors objectifies and creates the systemic problems women face; and have been trying to overcome. And I’m not saying don’t support Trump, he might be your political candidate of choice, but understand that when a male in a powerful leadership position, a white male at that…, says those things he sets a standard for the objectification of women that’s much larger than “grabbing them by the pu**y.” He begins to justify the wage gap and women’s civil liberties. And you’re right, you do have to fake it till you make it… but that’s because we live in a society that doesn’t value a woman’s word as strongly as a man’s word; where emotions are overcome by name calling and remarks that are demeaning. We can not take 5 steps forward, if other women are falling in line with the male rhetoric.

  3. Hi Jessi!
    I saw this post pop up on Facebook and wanted to reply, though I have never commented here before.
    I STRONGLY disagree with what you wrote. I think it’s very unfair to blame society for one man’s misogynistic, perversive, racist and downright nonsensical outbursts. *WE* did not do this to ourselves. And *WE* do not deserve this man representing our country.
    We don’t all sleep with our friend’s boyfriends. Some of us don’t sleep with anyone that we’re not in a serious relationship with. I don’t know who you’re hanging out with.
    We don’t all go home with “DJs who tweet about blowjobs”, though I find nothing wrong with others talking about, reading about and/or engaging in sexual acts. We’re all humans after all.
    We’re not all rewarding this type of behavior. In fact, most of us are taking a strong stance against it.
    I think you should think again about what you wrote.
    Neither candidate is good and, quite frankly, both scare the hell out of me. But one is at least trying to lead our country along a path of hope. The other is making claims that it’s okay to “grab a woman by her genitals” because, as a man, he can do whatever the f*ck he wants.
    As a woman, a wife, a friend and a mother, I think you owe it to yourself to take a stand. How dare you say that we asked for this?
    I pray that Jesus opens up your eyes to the message that you’re putting out there with this blog post and I pray that you realize this is not *OUR* fault. This is one man’s corruption and we are not to blame.
    I pray that your son does not grow up in a world where this man is his first true leader.
    We’re better than that.

    1. We understand though that Trump was voted into his candidacy – he didn’t just put himself there. What I’m explaining is that our candidates are a reflection of our culture and society – if we want change it begins with us. This is a democracy after all.

      1. I agree completely, but women did not put him there. Women are outraged. It’s misleading to imply that it’s our fault he is a candidate. Or that the way we talk or act or dress or flirt put him there. That’s not the case.

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