Don’t cry over spilled milk – 10 things no one tells you after birth


My son is officially one week old today – and I still am processing that I am a mom with a son. It’s so crazy how quickly your entire world can change. Granted, you have 9 months to prepare … but to be honest… it still doesn’t feel real.

Yesterday I breast pumped for the 2nd day. Pumping is glorious because you have milk in a bottle that you can use while out or during one of the late night feeding sessions. I pumped for 20 minutes and went to turn the pump off and spilled milk all over my leg – and cried. You know the saying “don’t cry over spilled milk” – well that person must have never pumped breast milk before. It was completely defeating.

So here are 10 things no one tells you about post labor that maybe it would be better if you didn’t know haha:

  1. You will cry over spilled milk. It feels ridiculous and you know its not rational but breast milk pumping is awkward and uncomfortable and then if you spill it you just want to roll over and never do it again.
  2. You’re not going to look like a supermodel a week after the baby is born – you will feel more like shreks wife when she accepts that she is an ogre. You still have a baby bump, but its more like a loose saggy one. Beautiful!
  3. Pre pregnancy hormones have NOTHING on post pregnancy hormones. I have often referred to myself as “someone with brain damage” “a mental patient” etc. I can’t remember things, want to cry all the time, and feel anxious and irritable in an unusual way.
  4. FIND A FRIEND THAT JUST HAD A BABY – it is really nice to just vent with someone and say “You too?!” and it makes you feel less crazy and less guilty for feeling so crazy haha.
  5. Standing after sitting is painful. I tore during my labor (I pushed for 4 minutes which I’m pretty proud of haha) but my stitches hurt so badly by day 4. My husband literally had to help me stand and it felt like bee stings in the worst place ever.
  6. You will love/hate your husband. In the matter of one week I cried and asked if we were going to get a divorce because he ignored me at 3am when I asked if he had the changing pad (apparently I had a “tone”). The very next day I spent an hour telling Parker how thankful I was for him and how I wanted to start a ministry for single moms and how much I love him.
  7. You will take an unreasonable amount of photos of your newborn. Everything is cute, interesting and adorable. The way he eats, poops, opens his eyes, sleeps is all worth taking a photo.
  8. You will feel lonely. Even with family and friends around you feel alone. It is more like a mental loneliness but to be honest this is where prayer has really helped me – especially while breastfeeding late a night.
  9. What works for some may not work for you. For example – the world swears to swaddle your baby – however only during certain hours does it actually calm my son down. He prefers having just a diaper on and laying on the swaddle. He loves his hands and touching his face. There is no law when it comes to parenting. Try different things and feel free to do what works for you.
  10. ALL OF THIS IS WORTH IT  – I have never felt a greater love then when I saw my son for the first time. I thought my heart was actually going to burst. Every morning we do skin-to-skin and he sleeps and breaths heavy on my chest and its a more euphoric feeling than any party or experience I have ever had.

What were you surprised about when you had your newborn?

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  1. This is beautiful Jessi. I’m SO glad you wrote this. After I had Justus, I remember feeling so crazy and out of sorts. ALL the emotions in such a short period of time! The thing I kept saying over and over again was “Why don’t people talk about this more?” I feel like people talked about the actual birth so much more than the 3-4 weeks after the birth. I remember saying to Bryan one night that I could handle labor and delivery 20 more times but it was the mental and hormonal back and forth that was going to do me in. Thank you friend, for putting it all out there in such a beautiful and honest way.

    And you are so right. Every single bit of it is worth it. Keep on pushing through sweet momma. You’ll find your rhythm and so will he. xoxo

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