Being a girl in nyc: Post One: The Myths and Truths of Christian Dating

This is part of the “being a girl in nyc” series by Gracie and I for our Community Group at Liberty Church. These posts are based solely on our own thoughts, opinions, and experiences.

The Myths and Truths of Christian Dating

Dating can be difficult enough on its own, but a lot of times Christian dating can be even more confusing. Unfortunately God doesn’t lay out blue prints in the Bible of who, where, when, and how we should date. Because of that, there are countless myths out there about what Christian dating should or shouldn’t look like. Here are some of the common ideas about Christian dating that Gracie and I think are incorrect, and what we believe is the real truth behind them.

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MYTH: There is only one person meant just for you.

TRUTH: First of all, this isn’t anywhere in the Bible. Don’t get me wrong – I absolutely believe that God knows ours needs and desires (more than we know our own) and that He knows the perfect person we will ultimately end up with. But if there was only one single person for everyone, then wouldn’t that mean the whole order of the universe was thrown off the moment two wrong people got together? Like I said – God does know the perfect person we’ll end up with, but I think it’s important to remember that timing, disposition, and each person’s free will is part of what determines who that is.

MYTH: Christians should just hang out as friends because real dates are too serious.

TRUTH: I think this is one of the main things that makes Christian dating so confusing. Guys are somehow under the impression that taking a girl on a date is leading them on, so they organize a less serious “hang out” if they’re interested. The problem with that, though, is that it makes intentions unclear. Here’s the thing about dating – whether you’re a Christian or not, a lot of times it just doesn’t work out. And that’s okay. It’s better to at least make your intentions known and have everything out on the table. It’s not a sin if it doesn’t end in a relationship or marriage! Not to mention that Christian girls are still girls. We all love to feel desired and be pursued in the way we deserve.

MYTH: Having the same faith is the most important thing in a relationship – everything else will work itself out around that.

TRUTH: Yes – sharing the same faith is crucial – and not just because the Bible says so. Being on the same page with your beliefs affects every other aspect of a relationship. With that being said, though, sharing the same faith doesn’t automatically mean you’re going to click with someone emotionally, physically, intellectually, or even on a spiritual level. You wouldn’t choose a best friend just because you’re both Christians, so why would you do that with a potential mate?

MYTH: Dating a Christian means you won’t encounter any relationship problems.

TRUTH: This is similar to the last myth. Just because you’re dating a Christian, it doesn’t mean that everything is going to be rainbows and angels singing in the background at all times. All relationships require at least some sort of work to successfully grow and become healthier, and you’re setting yourself up for failure if you don’t realize that. Choosing the right person with the same faith is only the very beginning of the journey.

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What are some myths about (Christian) dating you have believed?
Which of these myths or truths do you agree/disagree with the most?

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3 Comments

  1. One myth I have encountered is that if you are with the person God chose for you, there won’t be any temptation to have sexual desires. That is not true.. There is a teaching in the church that if you are dealing with sexual temptation in a relationship, then it must not be right.

    1. Hey,

      wow that is crazy. I have never heard that before. Thanks for sharing – I’d love to research more about this and possibly write a post. Any info you have, please send it to me!

  2. Another myth I’ve encountered is you’ll know when it is “the one”… Like the heavenlies are going to open up and you’ll hear God’s audible voice! This puts a massive amount of pressure on people!! Sometimes faith is required, and even after doing all you can to see if he is the right one for you, you just need to trust God with your decision.
    2 years into marriage and my husband has grown into more of a godly man than I could have ever desired and is continuously ticking the boxes I didn’t even know I had. So thankful I trusted God and realised no one is perfect! I really believe when you choose your ‘one’, they become your ‘one’!

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